I felt abandoned seven years ago while I stayed at home and abandoned you.
I had a life, so why’d I have to live? So I kept stiff and laid the blame on you.
But I figured out while you were hanging in the spotlight, we’d taken shelter under breaking skin.
I moved out while you were staring at the headlights and found the will to start over again.
(Though they scoff, I’m better off.)
You’re alone again. You’re alone again, and you wonder why.
You’re impossible. You’re impossible with your regimen.
And all the things you have, they surely do seem grand while I scrounge in debt on what I can.
It’s wonderful you’re feeling better in your skin. I should know with the wreck I am.
But I feel strong; I got people I can trust now. I’m finding wealth amongst disparity.
It takes a patient hand to find time worth investing, one not too proud to take a voucher from me.
(When you go, you should know…)
You could call this a guilt trip. Another feather on your day, and I finally have it, have it in my chest to convey
An eye for an eye and an arm for an arm. A truce, a promise, a pact like a dove’s bond.
but i understand this indifference in hospitality has kept you self-righteous.
and I still believe, still believe in the weight of all the time we spent.
(Fight for it. You know you ought to, and you know there’s something better.
Die for it. We used to live to. I just want you to be happier. You could be happier.)
A window rises where I ought to speak. I see my chances but instead I bite my nails til they’ve started bleeding; bite my tongue like I want to eat it.
A strong divide while I was merging in. Though you’re a stone on your bedspread, I just thought you’d go for somewhere safer. I just wanted to return the favor.
credits
from Fri(ends),
track released March 11, 2014
Recorded at Engaged Audio
Artwork by Kayla Campbell
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